The following article incorporates ideas from Ken Page’s book, Finding Love
The ideas shared in this article are based on the absolutely essential foundation of SAFETY -verbal, emotional, and physical SAFETY.
If you are in a relationship that is in any way abusive, please seek help. If you don’t know where to seek help, contact me and I will help you find resources. If you are at risk of engaging in sexual behaviors which may cause harm to others or yourself, please seek help. If any of the ideas in the article bring up disturbing feelings, or if you are suffering from an untreated disorder, please seek the help of a skilled and credentialed psychotherapist/psychiatrist immediately.
Let’s be direct: What turns you on most in sex?
The answer to this question may not fit how we see ourselves, or how we want others to see us. For example, people who are sensitive to human rights issues and equality of all people might fantasize about being sexually submissive, yet feel embarrassed and confused by that desire. Or we might fantasize about being sexually dominant, but fear that means we are potential boundary violating perpetrators.
How about if you feel curious about your fantasies instead of judgmental? Erotic sparks can be a doorway into a deeper experience of Self and help us to get to know parts of ourselves we don’t understand or want to acknowledge.